The New Hummer EV: It Crawls, Charges, Screams—Still Can’t Fit in a Parking Spot

If the idea of a vehicle that can charge itself, juice up others, navigate via Google Maps, and reverse-sidestep through the desert like a drunken crab excites you—congratulations. The new GMC Hummer EV is your spirit animal, and it’s back, bigger, bolder, and more bonkers than ever.

GMC has taken what was already an absurdly oversized, overpowered electric juggernaut and cranked it up to eleven—plus 162. The latest Hummer EV 3X Carbon Fiber Edition now boasts a staggering 1,176 horsepower. That’s more than a tank. More than some aircraft. Definitely more than anyone reasonably needs.

Its latest party trick? King Crab Mode. It sounds like a dish from a Louisiana seafood joint, but it’s actually a new driving mode where the rear wheels steer faster than the fronts. The result? This mammoth machine can slither through tight rock trails with the finesse of a ballerina who just slammed a six-pack of energy drinks.

Of course, the average Hummer owner is more likely to encounter a suburban grocery lot than a canyon pass. And in that lot, the Hummer still won’t fit. But now, at least, they can say with a smirk, “I could turn into that spot—if I wanted to.”

As expected of any self-respecting spaceship on wheels, the Hummer can now share its electricity. Friends running on empty? Plug into the beast and siphon some charge. It’s a bit like offering a cheeseburger to a starving lion: technically doable, but don’t expect it to be cheap.

Inside, the hilariously named Velocity Ember interior blends burnt-orange leather with unapologetic opulence. It’s less a cabin and more a rolling VIP lounge—complete with black 22-inch wheels and carbon-fiber accents, just in case subtlety was ever an option.

So, if you’re in the market for a vehicle that launches from 0 to 100 km/h in 2.8 seconds, crabs around corners, and could power half your neighborhood during an outage, look no further. Just don’t expect to park it without making headlines.