"Smile and Wave Goodbye": The Outrageous Tale of the Too-Happy Bus Conductor
In a stunning display of efficiency and keen management, St. Petersburg has set a new standard in employee discipline. 42-year-old bus conductor, Arseniy Klimushkin, was fired for the grievous offense of… smiling at passengers. Yes, you read that right. Smiling. In a public service job, no less. The audacity!
In just one month, Klimushkin racked up an astounding one and a half dozen complaints. His colleagues, in a display of admirable professionalism, deemed his behavior unprofessional and “turning a complex and responsible job into a circus.” Imagine, a public servant daring to make their job seem enjoyable. The horror!
Passengers, unable to comprehend this bizarre behavior, naturally assumed Klimushkin was a narcotics user. Because, obviously, what else could explain a smiling bus conductor? Concerned citizens even offered to take him to camera-free areas to “discuss” his behavior. The threat of physical violence was, of course, a completely rational response to a cheerful public employee.
Klimushkin’s relentless positivity not only risked turning the bus into a veritable hotbed of smiles but also threatened the very fabric of public transportation. Apparently, his demeanor was creating a risk of clashes and damage to the company’s property. Because as we all know, a smile can totally shatter windows and bend steel.
Unperturbed by his demotion to a janitorial position, our hero continued his reign of terror with his unwavering grin, provoking everyone in sight. The company, having no other choice in the face of such relentless cheerfulness, had to let him go.
So, let this be a lesson to all: in St. Petersburg, smiles are a serious business. Keep your face straight, your emotions in check, and maybe – just maybe – you’ll avoid the fate of the too-happy bus conductor.